Again I woke feeling okay but not awesome. Some of you may get tired of reading this because I know I am tired of feeling this. I drag my sorry butt out of bed, get a cup of Green tea and look longingly at the coffee machine. On these days when I feel so flat I crave the idea of caffeine like it you would not believe.
It’s a normal weekday for me, I take the kids to school, I do some household errands, I vacuum and then I decided to treat myself. Again I will be my own best friend and take myself to the movies. Today I am seeing the “Wolf of Wall Street.” I’ve always wanted to see but had no one to see it with. Everyone else in my world was not that excited by this movie.
It was certainly an interesting experience, I was one of only four in the cinema, an old lady, a woman in a wheelchair, a suspicious man in a trench coat, yes I said trench coat and me. If you’ve seen this movie then you will understand why I felt uncomfortable. I saw more of the human anatomy (mostly female) and also of the dark side of human nature than I ever had before. The fact that this movie is based on a real person makes it even more interesting.
I come home and had a little rest and then get Sam from school. I squeezed in a Pilates session, make dinner and then take the kids to youth. This routine is a great but where do I fit in this one to 2 hours sleep that I am being told to do every single day. Something has to give and I don’t want it to be me. At the moment it is me and its me suffering too much pain and lethargy.
By 930pm I am completely exhausted, I mean I am in so much pain I just needs to sleep. I need to find a way to rest and prevent myself from getting to this level of pain. I also realise I am my own worst enemy.
I have preached work life balance my entire professional career. I am the first person to tell someone to put themselves first, to be their own champion, to take care of themselves because if they don’t no-one else will. How sad that I have not been listening to my own message. This alone is so confronting and makes me feel like a hypocrite.
Luckily I am one determined woman and will not give up on learning this lesson. How can I expect 40+ years of patterning and learning to be unlearned in a few weeks/months. This is part of where my own patience with myself is critical. Tomorrow I have my lymphatic massage I’m hoping it is helpful and that it feels relaxing.
I slept ok, better than expected without medication. I wake feeling tired but ok. Tiredness is a permanent state of being for me at this time, Lethargy s like a friend staying on my couch uninvited and I can’t get the to leave.
I slept again – woo hoo! I could get used to this. I am feeling a bit yuck in the head, and still as tired as heck but I’m remembering what Human can feel like.
I felt better today when I woke up, thank goodness the Truck had not run me over again! I am excited as I am meeting one of my best girlfriends for lunch and a movie today. We saw an action movie, I fell asleep half way through, sad but hey under the circumstances I suppose it is understandable.I felt better today when I woke up, thank goodness the Truck had not run me over again! I am excited as I am meeting one of my best girlfriends for lunch and a movie today. We saw an action movie, I fell asleep half way through, sad but hey under the circumstances I suppose it is understandable.
I woke feeling like a Truck had hit me. Damn that Truck. My head is aching and fuzzy, sinus all clogged up, body aching and I just couldn’t seem to get going. I had a ‘to do” list in my head but when I got up I realised I was not going to win this battle so I went back to bed.
I can’t believe it I slept like a log. When I finally woke I felt like I had a hangover.- believe me it was a slow start to the day. I am a little sore, probably after the Pilates. But hey, it a positive sore. YAY! I cannot tell you how nice it is to have a good sore for once.
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