I slept ok, better than expected without medication. I wake feeling tired but ok. Tiredness is a permanent state of being for me at this time, Lethargy s like a friend staying on my couch uninvited and I can’t get the to leave.
Marc is out doing some errand and I begin to do some chores. It is not long before I realise I need to return to bed and sleep. The pain in my hip is unbelievable. I eventually fall off to sleep and wake at 3pm, I feel so hot it is like I am on fire.
I have my own personal light bulb moment and realise we have a pool! Eureka!!!! I go for a swim and oh my gosh it is so nice…… I float around I my own cool bliss.
I am not sure what it is but because I am so flat I am craving carbs something ridiculous. All I eat is chips, chocolate and liquorice. The only thing that tastes semi normal is liquorice. It is the only thing that can cut through the permanent metallic taste in my mouth.
Because I have eaten such crap all day I feel really bad by late afternoon. A combination of bad food and guilt has me crippled. I need to just crawl like a bad dog into bed and hide away.
I want to leave today, start fresh tomorrow; I hope my body will allow me to. Part of this is me learning to allow myself to have a bad day, a slow day even a nothing day. I am so achievement oriented and this journey is sometimes full of me achieving nothing except having a day like today eating crap and then feeling sick.
What’s that saying, “some days are diamonds, some days are stones…..”