Bald Barren And Boobless

An honest and comical reflection of my journey through breast cancer

Round 2, day 3, I re-enter the valley

woman waitingI slept until 3am which is just gold. I woke because my hips were so sore I could not move but desperately needed to. I am feeling quite weak and shaky. I’m not sure if I’m nauseous or hungry.

Some advice? To anyone out there going through chemo or who knows someone who is, please encourage them to keep a journal. It has helped me so much to map out my response to chemo and how to be prepared. It may be all I have energy to write in it daily, but is also a much needed release valve.

I do feel better on this day 3 than last time but I also know what to expect and they have given me some more anti-nausea drugs in my toxic cocktail to hold me until day 4-5.

It’s both Sunday and Australia day today. I make it to church barely, but am so glad I went. I feel bad for the family as they all stay home because I am so whacked I can’t do any celebrating. I don’t want them to miss out too but they won’t hear of it.

We get home from church and I just fall into bed. I cant even talk I feel so bad. My tank is so empty I imagine dust sitting on the inside of it. I got up and dragged myself to the kitchen to eat and went back to bed, it just takes the edge off of my nausea.

I have awful back spasms so took some Endone to help with this. My hands, feet and torso feel so bloated and hot. If I could Id run away from myself! I’m also constipated which adds to my discomfort.

Marc is heading back to school tomorrow and he is really unsettled. He doesn’t want to leave me but I assure him, all I am doing is laying in bed. I honestly won’t be needing much, just a mattress and a fan to try and keep me cool.

Until now he has been mostly off work during the holidays so we have journeyed this at the hip. The timing of this has been such a blessing for me, if there is such a thing. Having Marc by my side every step of the way, encouraging me, believing in me, holding me up, wiping the tears when they roll down my face. I am such a lucky woman to have his support.

Yes he is about to go back to work but I will always have his support, so I am ok with it. I also know this is but a season, and things will start to improve once chemo is finished. They must.

1 Comment

  1. I am learning so much from you and feeling your complete fatigue. I struggle with fatigue every day. I get so frustrated with it. I think I should have more energy but I don’t. Seems like you manage your fatigue and exhaustion well. I think sharing your experiences is a wonderful thing to do for many reasons – helps you and helps others going through similar experiences. It is about contributing to the common good.

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