fireI’m really struggling to sleep well, it’s hard when your bed feels like a frying pan. I think my hot flushes have been less frequent today but I also feel like I’m beginning to ovulate. This shouldn’t be possible, as I have been in forced menopause, BUT I’ve had to stop the Tamoxifen in preparation for surgery in two weeks time.  It is so complex, but there is medication and supplements I need to stop as they can cause bleeding when you have surgery, not a complication I need to have.

I spent a day at home are mostly I’m still really sore and achy but I did Pilates and it felt great. It’s so important to move my body.  My brain tells me that the aches and pains mean I shouldn’t move but it’s the exact opposite I need to move to deal with them.

I can’t believe it’s only two weeks until my next operation; I’m trying really hard to get in the right headspace for it. At this stage I’m planning on having my second breast removed and my ovaries removed.  My ovaries are to be removed to minimise the chances for the cancer to returning.

I feel like it should be easy because I been here before and this stage is prevention rather than dealing with active cancer. However, I’ve been such a horrible head space the so long now I’m struggling to be positive about anything.