battleI woke at 2am, the pain in my hips and knees woke me.  I would much rather be woke by sunlight in my eyes, a gentle shift from my man next to me or even a warm cuddle, but no, bone pain!

Marc said, “ how are you sleeping?”  I said excitedly, “Great! I didn’t even take a sleeping tablet last night.”  He retorted, don’t get too excited babe, its only 2am.”  Dang it! I thought it was morning……

I tried desperately to go back to sleep, eventually it happened and I work at 6am feeling like I had a well deserved hangover….  I felt worse than when I take the sleeping pills, its just not fair!

I started the Effexor today, no noticeable side effects except (sorry for the honesty) explosive diarrhea.  I know you do not wish to know this but the whole purpose of me sharing is for me to share so you don’t feel so alone.  If I paint this glorious picture of life after cancer, you will indeed feel so alone when you try to relate.

I also have a really strong metallic chemo taste in my mouth, its disgusting so licorice tea helps.  It is a cold and rainy day here today I am feeling determined and focused.  Just wanted to add, “I love you my Lord, you are my champion”.  Thanks goodness I can hold onto your strength when mine is low or shaky.

I am not sure why but 430 pm hits and I am in such pain I cannot handle it, my chest, my legs and hips.  I ended up relenting and taking some Tramal, within 30 mins the edge has been taken off.  What am I going to do when I have not pain tablets left???  I’ve already had some of my doctors say, this should be so painful now…. Yeah thanks for that.


I had a nice quiet night watching a movie with the kids and then off to bed by 10pm.  Oh another win, I meditated today!  Go me….