images-3I was awake until 1 am.  I’m so frustrated and exhausted.  I wake slowly again and realise that I have a big to-do list today.  I have many phone calls, emails and doctors appointments to do today.  We also have people coming to dinner, I don’t know what I was thinking.

I’m completely exhausted just thinking about what’s ahead of me today.  My energy is so low, I have burrning diarrhea, not sure how I’m going to get through.  A high point is that today is the last injection that I need to give myself.  It’s those injections to boost my blood from the effects of chemo.  What an accomplishment.  I still remember the fear and trepidation as I hovered shakily over my own stomach the first time with that needle.

Some people have to give themselves injections every single day, again you are my hero.  It amazes me how much you are able to overcome when you just put one foot in front of the other.

Amazingly I got through my to-do list today, but I did not rest.  I pray that tonight I do not pay the price, but it was just one of those mad days.  How am I ever going to find the balance, or is it accepting that sometimes you have those days?