lostI’m awake from 2 AM to 5 AM. Today is a slow day at home, again I’m feeling like I really want to run away from people to hide away from the world. I don’t like how I feel and how it’s making me behave.

I had a good chat with an old friend which was nice, some relief from my own head for just a while.

Sam had a friend over today which was really nice to him he’s doing it tough as well. I know I’m not there to him as much as I need to be but I’m struggling to even hold myself up at the moment.

Our daughter has one of those robotic babies that the weekend that cries and wets itself and needs to be settled this will be interesting.

My friend called and said she had sorted her kids to stay with someone else so I didn’t feel obliged. This hurt because I felt like I’d let her down but I’m so relieved.

This drain is getting even more painful, I have a really sharp burning pain. I’m so sick of myself at the moment. I’m tired whingy, whiny and absolutely no fun!

I feel like I’ve lost myself. I wonder how my poor family feel?