lostandemotionalI’ve had very little sleep, where the drains are just burns.  The drains are for the removal of excess fluid from the surgical site. I have two on each side down my rib cage. I can hardly lift my arm. I’m still nauseous, I lost my breakfast even with the anti nausea tablets.

The four drains are filling up really quickly. No visit from the breast care nurse this time, apparently because they will I wasn’t on their books, and oversight from my surgeon. Funny how something so small can mean you fall through the gaps. I would really love someone to talk to about what happened.

It is much more casual this time from their perspective, I suppose because there is no active cancer. However from my perspective I’ve lost my breast I’m in so much pain and I’m being treated like it is no big deal. From my perspective it’s a much bigger deal the emotional cost is much heavier than I expected.

My beautiful man Marc spent the whole day with me  which was lovely. A beautiful friend Carol from church brought a beautiful big bunch of flowers. I’m feeling very acknowledged and recognised by my loved ones. I’m hoping to sleep tonight they’ve given me Endone and Tramil with this much pain relief I should sleep.

Trying to use the bathroom independently with an IV and being unable to move your arms is rather a challenge. Lucky I was born for the challenge. After trying to pee in front of the nurse in the middle of the night I decided this was my only option.  Seriously the pain in my chest when I try and move my arm up at any angle is just ridiculous so trying to lift up my clothes, pulled down my pants, wiping and flush is just excruciating.