carrying a loadI slept better! Thank you Lord! What a blessing… I am feeling very flat but better. Today is another big day of errands and responsibilities. That is one thing I am noticing as Marc has returned to work. All of the little things he was taking care of for me have now fallen on my to do list.

Since I was diagnosed last year we have been on the big holiday break, now it’s back to normal life citizens. No wonder I am feeling it more,  I am doing more so it makes sense.  I am no longer being shielded by my super husband.

My back and legs are so sore, like I have a viral illness coming on, but I am sure it’s the chemo. My tongue is so thick and sore, my hands and feet are swollen and still so sore too.

Today was our annual trip to the paediatrician with Sam then I take him to school and it’s off to the psychologist for me. This has been really helpful for me to just get clarity on what is going on for me. Sorting through all of the crap has been really necessary.

This journey has been hard enough without carrying around fear, avoidance, facing your own mortality and all of the weird places your mind goes when you are told you have cancer. If you know someone who is in his place and they haven’t reached out, please encourage them.

On the way home I am stuffed but need to do the shopping – if my family is to eat I need to get food. I finally get home and fall into bed for a rest. I get up as the kids get home from school and start dinner, do some laundry etc. All the usual Mum stuff, as I am sure most of you Mums (or stay at home Dads) can relate too.

By early evening my legs are so painful and agitated I can’t stand it. The doctor calls it restless legs. I am so tired I just want to sit and be still but my legs jump about and feel like there is a little electricity party going on in all of the nerves. Each time it starts I need to shake my legs to stop it. Not relaxing!

I go to bed and medicate myself again with Endone and Valium tonight. I must sleep…. I make a note to ask the doctor if it’s ok to take Valium with Endone as I slip into a thick and blissful unconsciousness.