cactusI’m so desperate to sleep that I used still knocks last night. I’m quite scared of the side-effects but even more desperate to sleep. Even with this I was awake from 3 AM and fell asleep just before the alarm went off at six.

Then I had to get out and help get Sam going for the day get the kids to school and all the other things that us mums do every day.  I’m still very sore from the expansion yesterday so after a few errands I’m back in bed and dosed up on strong painkillers.

I woke later and walk the dog and then did my BAS statement, things don’t stop just because I’m sick. Nothing like being brainless, boob-less and reconciling your accounts (another bad joke warning).

I’m reading a book about another woman’s experience with recovery after breast cancer. She too was in pain the entire time she had the expanders.  I really don’t understand why this wasn’t explained to me. I think I still would have done the procedure but I would have been able to cope better had I expected this much pain.

Just so you can understand, the nerve pain in my chest feels like there’s a cactus inside and every time I move it spikes me, now there’s an image.

I’m really keen to see how I feel after the drain is removed. I’m sure the burning in my side will stop and I will have the pleasure of a warm shower or bath when I just want to wash the world away.