Bald Barren And Boobless

An honest and comical reflection of my journey through breast cancer

Tag: fun

I Attend A Conference – Sucker For Punishment.

chemo
So it’s my last chemotherapy treatment and I am on day 2.  I have a professional development conference to attend.  I’m not sure if I will cope but won’t know until i do it.

I slept like a zombie from 10.32pm – 11.18pm.  WTF!!!  Then I tossed all night long with hip and knee pain, I’m so hot and my tummy is so sore.  I finally got up at 4.30 am.  I just can’t lay in bed anymore.

We are in a hotel so I am aware of not disturbing Marc.  Its really hard, there is nowhere to hide.

I feel fragile but okay.  My head feels fuzzy, my hands and feet are really hot, my tummy is bloated and sore, but I am not too bad.  I dose up on pain killers and anti nausea meds and I get ready to go to the conference.  I make it to the lunch time break before I hit the wall.

It’s been weird – I’m with my business friends and none of them have seen me since before I was sick.  They are all so supportive, but I feel like an alien. Like I am in this weird parallel universe. They all tell me I look great, but really, I am sure they are being kind.

We are staying on the site that the conference is in so I went up to our bedroom and lay down, sleeping until 6pm.  We then went out to dinner.  I took it very slowly.  I felt quite weak and shaky and was waiting for the awful diarrhoea to hit.  I’m almost scared to leave the safety of a bathroom within 6 feet.

I took it slow and it was pretty fun I guess.  I’m in bed by 11 PM dosed with endone and valium let’s see how we go.  Still not sure if i am overly optimistic or just stupid for expecting myself to do this……

Rainy Days…..

rainy days
I had a good sleep.  As I wake I realise it’s a beautiful rainy Saturday.  I love those days where you don’t have to rush out of bed, and you know you can stay in it to warm to and enjoy the day.

Marc is at work this morning.  I get out of bed, finally, and start pottering about.  I take Sam to the shops and run errands.  When I get home I’m completely exhausted.  I feel so overwhelmed, and then get really snappy with Marc.  I know this isn’t fair, and I’m really sorry.  He understands, as he usually does.  Man I am so blessed.

We have some lunch.  I decide to make a cake as our good friends are coming to visit this afternoon.  I made my famous wheat, dairy and sugar free chocolate cake.  I know you are saying, “What the heck has it got in it?”.  But trust me, it is beautiful.  One day I’ll share the recipe with you.

We had a lovely afternoon catching up with our friends, which was great.  Since I got sick so many friends have stayed away, yet many have stepped up and ensured that we stay connected.  I really appreciate this.

I don’t blame anyone, many people struggle to know what to say and how to be around someone when they are sick.  Can I just encourage you though, it is so much better to say how you feel and support them anyway.  Otherwise chronic illness is a very lonely place.

Sam goes to a friend’s house for a sleepover, Marc and I have a lovely dinner together and watch a movie.  We decide on a comedy, there’s too much seriousness in our life at the moment.

We laugh ourselves silly until our tummies  hurt.  It’s just so fun to let go, forget whatever’s happening in your own life, and laugh.  It was such a lovely night.  They do say the simple things……