Bald Barren And Boobless

An honest and comical reflection of my journey through breast cancer

A letter to myself

random-act-of-kindness Dear Kylie my love,

This letter is a letter of love and caring. You have been through a lot my sweet, and there have been many lessons to be learned. Why? So you don’t have to learn it again my sweet girl.

For as long as I can remember you have been very good at caring for others, putting them first and putting yourself last. This can be no more my dear. Things need to change. God has loved you through this experience and one of the biggest messages he has shared with you, is your value. You too need to be loved, to be cared for, to have space and to protect your heart.

You need to feel ok to say “No” to allow others to learn the hard lessons for them. It’s important that you don’t feel like you need to carry the world on your shoulders. Those old childhood fears and hurts no longer need to drive your actions my love. You can now rest and trust that you are not responsible for others, for their outcomes or for their hurts.

Carrying such a burden is such a heavy load and I believe to a large degree is why you have ended up where you are, sick, tired and empty in so many ways. Yet you still yearn to give and give some more.

You have loved where only anger has been reflected, you have given of yourself without return, you have felt responsible for things you have absolutely no control over, all of this is completely emotionally and physically exhausting.

Change is required and it is necessary my sweet girl. You have such a big heart and such capacity. How long has it taken for this to catch up with you? So many years, this has been building and building. Imagine how much is possible when you let go of what you cannot control and give back to yourself. Imagine when you allow God to heal you completely (from the inside out) and make you whole again, the possibilities are endless.

I know you want to make a difference in this world, to share with others and to help them live lives of hope and significance. To do this, I believe you need to love and nurture yourself, love others fully and freely but let go when it is wise. Allow others to experience things for themselves; you don’t need to protect them. Realise that not everyone will understand or appreciate your journey and that is ok.

This is your journey, your experience and your life. Do what you can, make it a beautiful testament to those who have loved and supported you. Allow our gracious and merciful God to be glorified through your life story.

So what should change? Please love your body by nourishing it with beautiful whole, clean and nutritious foods. Move and stretch your body, allow your muscles to be strong and lean, to support you in all that you do. Allow your ever-questioning mind to be quiet at times, give yourself that gift daily. Love generously, laugh audaciously, spend time with people that grow you and love you. Don’t do things out of some weird sense of obligation. Stop fearing rejection from others, you are a daughter of the most high King, you have been created, loved and accepted by the God of the universe, nothing else matters.

So with love gratitude and friendship I say to you, dear sweet lovely Kylie, be kind to yourself, allow for change to take place at its place, appreciate your amazing body and it’s strength and resilience and above all remember to love abundantly. xxxxxxx

1 Comment

  1. Kylie. You are the best and I love you. Marc

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