Bald Barren And Boobless

An honest and comical reflection of my journey through breast cancer

Waiting and watching for the inevitable.

persist quoteI can’t believe it I slept like a log. When I finally woke I felt like I had a hangover.- believe me it was a slow start to the day. I am a little sore, probably after the Pilates. But hey, it a positive sore. YAY! I cannot tell you how nice it is to have a good sore for once.

For months now each time something is sore there has been some type of catastrophe or trauma associated with it, today it’s because I exercised – woohoo! I have developed mouth ulcers, hang on let’s say GI tract ulcers. I am pretty sure they go most of the way down. Each time I eat I can feel them burning and sore. They are all trough my nose also, any mucous membrane. I have been a little slack with the mouth wash.

One of the many tips they give you is to wash many times each day with a bicarb mouth wash to avoid or help with mouth ulcers. I keep forgetting and am also so dang tired that I lay in bed and think, “should do mouth wash, nahh couldn’t be stuffed.” So this would be me paying the price for that now.

I am now day 9 since chemo began and they say anywhere from Day 13-21 your hair will begin to fall out. I am psyching myself up for it. It is a weird thing to be waiting for. I’ve read some weird experiences. Some people wake up and their hair is on the pillow. One poor lady woke to find her eyebrows staring back at her from the pillow. Now that would be difficult to describe.

As a normal woman we spend most of our adult life trying to rid ourselves of excess or any hair in the so-called unacceptable places. Now I am waiting and watching to lose it all. I mean literally all. You lose, head hair, eyebrows eyelashes, leg hair pubic hair EVERYTHING! Talk about head spin.

That step makes it really real; I can no longer hide. Yes I don’t look or feel well now but no one knows unless I tell them. When your bald everyone knows it’s the BIG C.

As I am day 9 now I have 12 days until the next round. So I will begin to feel “almost normal” with the exception of the tiredness and some of the longer lasting symptoms before I go back and say “Sing it again Sam.”

I am having ovulation pain today that means my ovaries have not stopped functioning with the first dose of chemo, they will with the next round for sure. I look forward to the day when my energy is back, look out world.

2 Comments

  1. My hair seemed to cling on for dear life until I decided to go try on a couple of hats. Each hat came off with a huge chunk of hair. Needless to say I ended up buying the hats whether I liked them or not. That night my husband shaved my head. Best of luck, if you leave perfect eyebrows in your pillow I think that needs a photo… (I didn’t lose my eyebrows until my last 2 treatments).

    • Thanks for the encouragement Mandi, My husband shaved me too. I dreaded it but it was fun int he end, you have to laugh huh? My eyebrows soon followed but I got my tattooed until they grew back, painful, exe but worth it for me. Love hugs and healing

      K xx

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