hourAgain I wake up feeling at least 110 years old. I’m so sore that each day I’ve got to believe that I’m closer to feeling better.

Today I was reminded that I am beginning to live in the future, the unknown, that anxiety state of “what if” and “if only.”  I know I’m here because I feel the adrenaline surging through my system, the fear growing inside me, I feel catastrophe and overwhelm around every corner.

Today I say no more, I’m here today. Yes I am sore, tired, frightened, but I am here, I am loved and I am open to my Lord prompting me not to wish away this time. Each day is a precious gift, and I don’t want to waste a moment.

This is such a mind game, such a brain busting head hurting journey. You’ve really got to harness your thoughts and make sure that they are helping you. I have a very powerful mind and I can create whatever reality I decide to.

On a positive note my hair is growing back it’s about 5 mm all over. On a funny note today my wonderful husband said that I look like a man.  I suppose the fact that in two days time I’ll have no boobs will help with this (sarcasm sarcasm).  Gosh I’m blessed that we can laugh about these things.