Bald Barren And Boobless

An honest and comical reflection of my journey through breast cancer

Tag: church

Sunday Bloody Sunday

exhausted pup
I had a good sleep with some pharmaceutical help.   After such a lovely day yesterday I was looking forward to another great day today.  I’m greedy aren’t I?

Another excellent church service, they always speak to me in a way that I need to hear which is such a gift.  I come home after church and need to sleep as I’m exhausted.  Denmark wakes me at 5 o’clock.  I’m so exhausted.  I can’t believe more than five hours has passed and I really don’t want to get out of bed.

But it’s our Sunday night family dinner so I need to get up.  My sister-in-law comes to dinner with her beautiful girl Eliza.  Alison, beautiful girl, does my ironing, what an absolute blessing.  At first I really struggled with her helping like this, but then as the exhaustion set in, over time I stopped fighting.  I literally didn’t have the energy.

After dinner my entire body is aching, I’m sore, can’t think straight, blinking is hard, and all I can think about is bed.  I really can’t explain to you just how tired I feel.  It is like a beast I’ve never experienced before.

I feel some guilt as I struggle to spend quality time with my family.  This was always something that was so important to me yet being so exhausted I can’t keep my eyes open.  I’m not even listening when people speak to me because I’m so preoccupied with the pain I feel.  How on earth am I meant to live like this?

So I crawl into bed praying that tomorrow is a better day.  It’s my man’s birthday tomorrow, I pray that he is blessed and feels loved as much as we really love him.

Remembering What’s Really Important

Happy family having roast chicken dinner at tableIt’s Sunday, so today I went to church.  There was great message from Robert Ferguson.  I’m thankful for all I learn each time I’m in the house.  I’m sore and really tired, but so glad to get home.

I spend some special time just lying with Marc, it’s so lovely just to lie next to him.  Tonight we have our usual Sunday dinner, it’s family night.  Do you have traditions like this?

We find it so important to put time aside just for the family.  If we don’t do this, the week can slip by and we haven’t really connected.  So, on Sunday night we get together, have a yummy meal and spend some quality time together.

It was only a few years ago that family night was every night.  How fast things change.  Within the blink of an eye you look around you and don’t recognise anything.  As your kids grow they spend less time with you so you need to grab whatever time you can.  One thing this cancer journey has helped me do is to get clarity on how important my relationships are.

When you’re faced with the potential of having less time on this planet, it’s very clear, very quickly what’s important.  The to do list goes out the door, all those unimportant things you stressed yourself out with over the years are forgotten, and what really matters is the people in your world.

So I challenge you, if your wheels are spinning, your world is full, and you don’t know which way is up, stop and take a breath.  Take stock of what’s really important because you never know what tomorrow will bring.