losingAnother completely horrible night I was really hot and the bones in my knees and hips ache so much. From what I understand from reading in the literature and from my mom’s own journey these other side-effects of Tamoxifen.  It is hard to explain bone pain but i wouldn’t recommend it to anyone…..

This drug ( Tamoxifen) is designed to protect me from the harmful effects of estrogen however the side-effects are absolutely horrifying. I don’t know if I can continue to experience these hot flushes and bone pain like I am at the moment. I really wonder if these tablets are to keep me alive is it worth me being alive and being, in chronic pain, and unable to function the way that I know I need and want to.  The quality over quantity debate rages within me.

I’m spending the day looking after ELiza today, hopefully it all goes well and I can cope. The poor little sweet pea has a cold :(

We got through the day, I was tired but we did really well. The joy that comes out of that little baby girl gives me the energy to push through when I’m really tired.  She just brings so much joy. By the end of the day I was really a key and hired. Having hot flushes at least five times in our. I really feel like I’m losing myself…