Sam comes into the bedroom really early. He is really hot and feels sick. It is a really hot morning so I ask him to come sit with me by the pool. He ends up getting in the pool to cool down and I stay on the side.
I’m sitting there when Marc comes out and says hey babe there is a heap of hair on your top. I touch my hair and it just comes away in my hand like fairy floss. I wait for the dread, for the tears but I just kick into ‘manage it’ mode again.
I go onto the bathroom and just keep pulling handfuls of hair out. It’s Sunday and we are due to go to church. So I ask Marc to give me a buzz cut. I didn’t think I would cope with Marc doing this but I am really ok with it.
Marc performs the deed and we do some silly shots along the way. After all when else will I have the chance to have a real Mohawk??? (See picture above.) Yes I was trying to look like I and attitude – you know punk rocker isn… not sure if it worked…..
I am surprised at how ‘ok’ I am. I was so worried about the emotional weight this process would take but I actually felt free. I felt at peace. Marc takes a photo of the two of us, (see next picture), and before I know it he has posted it on his timeline on FB!
Under normal circumstances I would not want my photo posted at all, let alone my first bald shot. Again I was ok with it. I did ask him to let me know “before” he does that just so I am aware. But still amazed at how I felt.
I wear my cap to church for the first time. I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb but I will get used to it. One yucky thing is how hot my head is.
In the foyer at church Marc is talking with a new woman he has just met, (he does this all the time). He introduces me to Helen from Chicago. She is a bubbly friendly woman. It’s her first time here, she is on holiday and has popped in.
As we are walking into the service, she stops me and says “can I ask, have you got cancer?” I respond openly “Yes, Breast Cancer, I lost my hair today so this is the first time I’ve worn one of the hats.”
Helen tears up as she explains to me that she is a breast cancer survivor and this is her anniversary celebration trip for ceasing treatment. She explains her hair has grown back and she is feeling human again. She looks me right in the eye and says “It’s going to be ok.” By now we are both crying and hugging. It was just such a beautiful miracle to meet her on the day when I was feeling vulnerable and unsure.
The gift of meeting Helen that day will never be forgotten. This is another example of how God has just provided for me when I need it. I am so blown away at the miracles and endless support and love that surround me.
I never thought I would say this but my B day has been such an amazing day. It has been such a gift in more ways than one. Now its time for me to embrace my scone.